Tell Yourself a Good Story
Because why not?
On Monday I was riding the elevator to my office when I noticed how negative my internal monologue had become.
I was ping-ponging between thoughts that reminded me of all that I hadn’t accomplished, where exactly I had failed others, and the ways in which I was NOT living up to my potential in my personal and professional life. Basically it was, “You suck, you suck, you suck.”
Ever been there?
No wonder I felt terrible. I was telling myself a horrible story about myself.
Ever done that?
Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to remind myself that I can always shift the narrative. It’s my firm belief that our mental state is primarily founded upon the narratives we tell ourselves at any given moment. Regardless of what is happening in our lives, we forever and always retain the power to tell ourselves a good story.
Whenever I feel crummy, like I did the other morning, it helps to slow down and ask myself, “What story am I telling?”
Once I identify what story I’m telling, I can then ask myself this question: “Does the story help?”
Notice I don’t ask myself to deny the truth of my reality. It’s true that I’ve failed and continue to fail in so many ways. There is nothing I can do to change that. What I’m asking myself to do is take seriously how powerful my mind is.
If I choose to ruminate on negative stories about who I am, I will inevitably limit who I can become.
The same is true for you.
We are always capable of becoming more than we were in a previous moment. But to do this we must do the work of shifting from a mindset of blame to one of possibility. A productive way to do this is to imagine your inner life as empty pages of a book upon which you are writing. You can write whatever you want.
I can hear your inner critique saying, “Yeah, but—”
Stop. You can write whatever you want.
“Yeah, but—”
Stop. You can write whatever you want.
It is true that we cannot control the circumstances of our lives, but we can control the words that get written on the pages of our mind. And there — in the act of mental writing —lies every ounce of power we need to become who we’ve always hoped we could be.
You are always going to be telling yourself a story. Might as well make it a good one.